Random thoughts while surfing channels last night...

Think Mr. Eko is a badass? He was an even bigger badass on the ultimate HBO series "Oz."


But I always had one question for which I've never heard an answer. How in the Hell did Adebisi manage to keep that cap at such a jaunty angle thru 3 seasons? Amazing...

I'll stop to watch any college hoop game that Bill Raferty is calling. I just need to hear "Onions!" and "The Kiss!" and I'm one happy dude.

On the other hand, Dick Vitale can stop slurping at the Duke trough anytime. I could use other slurping imagagry, but I'll let you use your imagination.

I HATE J.J. Redick. He's the epitome of the overrated, obnoxious Dukie who going to be a benchwarmer in the Association. J.J, talk to Laettner, Langton, and Hurley and meet your future!

Alton Brown of "Good Eats" is a cooking God. Maybe God is a bit extreme, let's just call him my cooking muse. Thanks to him, I can do more than make Kraft Mac & Cheese and have been converted to the wonders of kosher salt.

Then some trifle called "Ham on the Street" came on the Food Network. It taught me one vital fact that I'll always remember.

1 ostrich egg = 2 dozen chicken eggs.

Might win me a bar bet sometime.

"Rollergirls" on A&E I'm still trying to get a feel for. No, not cop a feel. But when I hear the roller chicks talk strategy, I think to myself, "It's fucking roller derby for chrissakes! Strategy? It's minor league WWE with chicks on wheels. Strategy my ass." Then I watch more, hoping to see some roller chick skin...

By the way, when did A&E become a dumping ground for trash TV? Probably the same time they started doing A&E Biographies on Tony Danza.

Everytime I see the commercial with Peyton Manning asking a produce guy to "Sign my melon," I think he's going to autograph Peyton's big ass balding noggin.

Sportscenter sucks. HARD. Everybody seems to be yelling at me! Why are Sean Salisbury and John Clayton even on my television? Salisbury is a friggin' loon and legend in his own career backup QB mind and Clayton has a combover with a face made for radio. And they won't stop with the hollerin'...

For some reason, it's soothing to think that some things haven't and will never change. What makes me think that? Anytime after 11 pm on at least one (Usually two) of the Cinemax movie channels you'll see naked women. Lots of naked women. It's been called Skinemax for as long as I can remember having cable. We are talking the stone ages of cable, when my cable company had 30 channels, MTV broadcast nothing but music videos, and ESPN showed cool ass sports like Aussie Rules Football. My cable company, MTV, and ESPN have since changed for the worse. Much worse. Not Skinemax. Thank you Skinemax. Thank you for staying with what works.