Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I HATE the Celtics! Always have, always will

Tonight, the Pistons take on the team that once filled me with dread. A team that gave me nightmares. A team I despised with my entire being. A team I hated HATED HATED!

The "Axis of EVIL!"

That team is the Boston Celtics.

Actually, I should change that to HATE the Celtics, as I never stopped. I no longer fear them, they don't give me nightmares, but I sure as all Hell will always despise them.

Back in the very early days of TWFE, in the first month of it's existence, I posted a list of Detroit's 10 most hated teams and players. The Celtics were high on that list.

3. The Boston Celtics starting lineup of the mid-late 80's - Was there a more hated bunch than that Celtics crew? The most unlikable team ever. They still stick in my craw. Danny Ainge might have been the most annoying player I've ever seen. Dennis Johnson might have been the ugliest player I've ever seen. Who can forget Robert Parrish sucker punching Bill Laimbeer with unmitigated malice? Larry Legend talking trash while draining circus shots. Kevin McHale looked like Lurch but his battles with Rick Mahorn were legendary. Every time the Bird steal gets replayed, I turn the channel. I still can't bear to watch... Both teams and their fans wished the depths of Hell upon each other. A honorable mention goes to the despicable Tommy Heinsohn, you could feel his love for the Celtics during those CBS broadcasts.

Yeah, I still hold a grudge.

I still refuse to watch Bird stealing that God damn pass. I still think Parrish should have gotten a long suspension rather than the 1 game hand slap the NBA gave him for his sucker punching Laimbeer (Could you see something so viciously blatant being swept under the rug today?). I still believe the Pistons would have beaten the Celtics in 1987 if Adrian Dantley and Vinnie Johnson don't knock each other silly diving for a loose ball.

I'm thrilled the rathole called the Boston Garden was demolished. I'm happy as Hell the Celtics have not won a thing since beating the Pistons in '87. They were as relevant as the Detroit Lions for the past 2 decades. I love the fact the Pistons were the team that finished that Celtics team for good.

I'm thrilled that Danny Ainge and Larry Bird have been utter failures as NBA GM's. (Though I will admit to having a soft spot for Ainge, as his incompetence allowed the Pistons to get Rasheed Wallace for next to nothing. Pistons fans are eternally grateful.)

We've been battered about the head and face for the entire NBA season with Celtics this, and Celtics that. Which is why it couldn't be more fitting for the Pistons to be the team that finishes off the NBA's designated "IT" team, ESPN's favored child, the MSM's flavor of the month, the '07-'08 Celtics. The Pistons win this series, all will be right in the world.

I have only this to say about the Eastern Conference finals...

Screw the fucking Celtics!

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