Friday, March 21, 2008

I hate "One Shining Moment"

We all love the NCAA Tournament. (Well, not everyone, like this Eno character) The first weekend is beer and munchies fueled heaven on a couch. But for all the drama, the days full of exciting (For the most part, even if day 1 was chalk) basketball, there are some things I just can't stand about the NCAA's.

Seeing the same commercials over and over and over and over: I love Thin Lizzy as much as anyone, probably more than most of you youngsters out there who aren't familiar with the output of the late, great Phil Lynott's band. As soon as I heard the opening chord in the Miller Lite dalmatians ad, I immediately knew "Jailbreak" was to follow. It's a great song from the 70's I've never grown tired of hearing...Till now. The damn ad runs incessantly.

Same goes for the Pontiac G8 Spyhunter ad. Just a wonderful, creative, nostalgic commercial...The first 100 times I watched it. Now it's just annoying. We're bludgeoned over the head with the same ads till our ears bleed. Enough of the chick with the caffeine buzz in the Sonic ad, the AT&T ad of the doofus shooting hoops in a bar, or any promo for a CBS show only blue hairs watch. Please CBS, stop the commercial madness!

CBS refusing to cut away to a better game, even when the home team is winning in blowout fashion: It gets frustrating as all Hell. You are stuck watching a snoozer of an early round game, while you see the close score of a much better game being shown in another region on the box at the top of the screen. Screw the home team, I want to see the better game, DAMMIT!

CBS has gotten better over the years, but they still seem to be slow on flipping the switch. I want upsets! I want drama! I want close, entertaining games! I don't want to watch Michigan State taking a team to the woodshed while a better game is going on in another region.

"One Shining Moment:" I may be on an island with this one, but "One Shining Moment" is pure, unadulterated tripe. Seriously, you have to admit it blows. It's so sappy, you'd think Mitch Albom wrote it. If the song hadn't been co-opted by CBS for the NCAA's, it would have long disappeared into the oblivion it richly deserves.

For that matter, highlight montages are hackneyed and overdone. I don't need to have my heartstrings intentionally tugged by highlight clips (Most of which I've already seen...Several times) accompanied with a bland pop song. I haven't watched the "One Shining Moment" bit in years, and don't plan on watching another.

DUKE: I hate Duke. You hate Duke. Everyone hates Duke. I don't know a single person who would consider themselves fans of the Blue Devils. Yet CBS feels the need to feature Duke at every fucking opportunity, shoving Coach K down our throats, gagging all the way.

There's always the one early weekend game that has no competition, shown nationwide, and it ALWAYS has Duke. If Belmont had knocked off Duke yesterday, the entire country would have celebrated. As the clock ran out on plucky Belmont, and the Blue Devils escaped an upset the whole nation wanted to go down, I could only say two words. "Fuck Duke."

Billy Packer: Is there a more joyless broadcasting soul than the soulless Packer? As much as the likes of Gus Johnson (Who should be calling the Final Four) and Bill Raftery are enjoying themselves, and damn fun to listen to, Packer is a dour ass crank who's a drag on the entire broadcast, and on those watching.

Jim Nantz deserves all the credit in the world for not wanting to kill himself after calling 4 games in a day with Packer. The man is evil incarnate. Pure evil. Billy Packer is the curse of the NCAA's.


  1. Jeez, I took your advice and became a VIP subscriber to March Madness on Demand and I can watch any damned game I want. Including MSU beating the stuffing out of Temple up until the bloody end. So, you'll get no sympathy from me about the way C-BS runs the tournament. I beg to differ on Gus Johnson, though, he had the call of the MSU game and at times it seemed that he and Len couldn't be bothered to actually pay attention to what was happening on the court. As to Billy Packer, I would put him in the same unemployment line with Stuart Scott, Larry Kudlow, Chris "Only Charles Barkley Has a Worse Golf Swing" Berman, Mort, Rush "The Only Reason Black Quarterbacks Play in the NFL Is Because of The Liberal Media (and I Should Know Because I Was the Back-up Place Kicker on My High School JV Team)" Limbaugh, and every little prick who pimps high school football and basketball players.

  2. Just as an addendum...check out for the new bio of Billy Packer.

  3. We agree to disagree on Gus. I'm part of the internet cult of Gus Johnson fans that got rolling at Awful Announcing. Whatever it is, I really enjoy Johnson's calls.

    As for your hit list, I have no argument. Not one. I'd add Tim McCarver and Joe Buck.

    The VIP thing is cool, isn't it? I've had it going non stop, but my older PC (5 years) tends to slow down considerably when I have the stream going. My PC is on that list I mentioned of items I need to replace/buy. Or at least have a 2nd PC, so I can split the duties. Streaming CBS, working on the blog, DLing torrents, and using Skype, all at the same time, my computer cries for mercy....

  4. Though beginning as a talented and respected broadcaster, Packer quickly developed crazy-old-man-sports-announcer syndrome, a condition that has been documented in many professionals since the advent of broadcast media. This case is particularly unique in that it developed almost immediately, rather than in Packer’s autumn years, at time when announcers are most susceptible to such abrasive curmudgeonry.

    Thanks for the heads up, that's hysterical!

  5. That fucking jailbreak commercial is driving me insane, I don't even want to hear that horrible song ever again PLEAAAAAAAASE

  6. Well, so much for Duke.

    heh-heh-heh. :)