Monday, September 11, 2006

Rod Marinelli Monday presser cliche' report: Week 1

I'm going to try and make this a weekly feature. Since the local media began to broadcast the Lions Monday pressers live a few years ago, they've had more than their share of high level entertainment. From Marty's wacky colliquialisms (The bar is high, hairy high school stuff, snap-hold-kick) to Mooch's slickness and playing the blame game. (The reason for all the dropped passes were Harrington's throws, there were never any problems, things just needed to be "Cleaned up.")

Now we have Rod Marinelli manning the podium, facing the, as A2Y likes to call beat writers, deep diggers. I expect the Sgt. Marinelli to spew football cliche's left and right. Let's see how the Sarge does.

Most everything will be paraphrased, my comments in italicised brackets.

Opening remarks:

"A very winnable game, but just not good enough."

"No excuses, no explanations."

"It's all about winning."

"The hitting, the effort, were good, but that's expected."

"I won't throw any bouquets for hitting, and hustling, and playing hard." (Rod won't be sending flowers, anymore...)

(Mentions details several times...)

Football's about, "Practice, teaching, getting in the classroom and instructing." (Wait a sec. I thought he just said that football was about winning?)

"Get on the same page, saddle it up, get ready for next week."

(Tosses a bone to the fans. ) "They were unbelievable."

(In other words, Cliche', cliche', cliche'. Then even more...)

Time for the beat writer Q & A...

Old Shep asks about "Passion."
Sarge: "It's all about winning" (Wait a...He said...I give up) "Football is also about caring, developing habits, no deviation" (I guess football is about lots of things...)

Old dude O'Hara asks "How do you win?"
Sarge: "A great question" They have "No panic," (Now we see where Kitna got that mantra from) and a "Strong belief." Mentions more about teaching and practice. (What's the old proverb? Those that can do, those that can't, teach.)

Some dude in glasses, I have no idea who he is, asks about the defense looking different in the last Seattle posession.
Sarge: "Nothing different, we just need to make plays" (Make plays? HA! At least he didn't talk about teaching...Again.)

We now have a question asking about losing half time momentum.
Sarge: Brings up the Oakland debacle game, "Some played, some didn't, it's about every guy playing well." (Huh?)

The old sage O'Hara asks about the blown last offensive play, and the following punt. (That gained a whole 17 net yards because of a damn stupid touchback)
Sarge: "It was a miscommunication," he won't name names (I will. Shawn Bryson). The punt he wanted inside the 10. "He's (Nick Harris) outstanding, and will continue to be outstanding!" (OUSTSTANDING!)

Unknown voice asks, "Any second thoughts about not going for a FG?"
Sarge: "No" (Really, would it have made any difference? No.)

The Killer asks about going for it on 4th down. (After Bryson screwed the pooch.)
Sarge: "I did, in my mind. I got conservative" (Is that Mooch talking?) "I wanted a long field" (Good idea, save for that pesky thing called a TOUCHBACK!)

Nick Cotsonika asks about what they saw on the film in regard to the offense.
Sarge: "Little things" "Little details" "Details" "Every detail matters" "Hammeting details" "Details, don't be on the list" "Every detail does matter" (He's a detail fetishist. I swear he said "Details" 30 times this afternoon. DETAILS!)

Old Shep asks if there were enough touches for Kevin Jones.
Sarge: "He's a violent runner" "We'll contiunue to grow with him" (Uh, you didn't answer the question, Sarge.)

O'Hara...Again. Injuries?
Sarge: "We came out clean" (A very Moochlike soundbite. Now I just need to hear "Cleaned up.")

Unknown guy asks about missing 2 O-linemen.
Sarge: "They're professional football players with a job to do" (Professional is debateable, but I'll go with it.) "Get your HAT on the right guy, you force the defensive guy to BEAT 'cha!" (Unfortunately, the O-line blocked like they were wearing fedoras they didn't want to crease...)

Bearded dude, "How good was Shaun Rogers?"
Sarge: "He can be better" (Oooooh, snap...) "He was dominant" (Better than "Dominant?")

Killer follows up asking about Big Baby's rep for taking plays off.
Sarge: "That level of consistency was good" "I was very pleased" "Has a Motor and A work effort" (Talk about 2 old nuggets. He's just missing "Passion" and Details.") "Creates havoc and kaos" (But he still takes plays off...)

Killer again, what about Sims? Sims said he had an "Average" game.
Sarge: "I'm glad he said that" "His energy, effort, tackling around the ball.....was.....good" (That build up was for...good?) Says Sims needs to work on "Details" (Again with the details? From all the details they are missing, I'm surprised it wasn't a Seattle blowout!) But he has a "Motor," and has "Passion" (I knew he'd get those in somehow...)

Old Shep follows up, asks the Sarge if he'd call Sims' performance average.
Sarge: "You lose, you have to be average" (It's the Lions, I'll take"Average") "He played HARD football" (I wish his head was harder, to tell you the truth...)

Cotsonika asks about Sims and missed assignments.
Sarge: "He had some mental errors" (What about the "Details?") "There's so many details, it moves so fast..." (I KNEW IT!) "He has good football awareness" (Good thing, considering he's playing...Football!)

Cotsonika follows up with an agressiveness question.
Sarge: Defines defense as the following... "Speed" "Effffffort" "Sprint to the football" "Great Hustle" "Get off the ground" "Get off the blocks and go" "The want to" "Quickness" "Balance" (Sarge didn't miss a cliche', that was a high scoring sentence. But...What about the "DETAILS?")

The ancient O'Hara asks about Boss Bailey.
Sarge: "He just needs to keep playing football" (With his knees? Riiiight...) "Get his pads on" (With his knees? Riiiight...) "Game speed has got to be so fast..." (As compared to? Ramming speed? With his knees? Riiiight...)

The old dude O'Hara asks if he's (Boss) starting?
Sarge: "We'll let the week play out..." (With his knees? Riiiight...)

Unknown voice asks about eliminating penalties.
Sarge: "Do it in practice" "Demand and to do it right" "An environment under duress" "Do it over and over" "That's not what we want, that's not what we want" "Streessing the details" "No panic" (In other words, repetition. But that's not dramatic enough...)

He follows up with asking how do you break the starters from their habit of committing penalties?
Sarge: Goes off on a practice tangent. "We work on angles, work on leverage, that's what football's about" (Wait a sec, I thought it was about...Uhhh...Screw it. Never mind...) "Teach and teach and teach, repetition, simplicity" (Ahhh, now I get it. It's the "Do over" approach.)

The Killer...Again. he asks about the Roy Williams false start, if that's an example of what must drive Marinelli crazy...
Sarge: "Yes" "That's the details I'm talking about" "EVERY detail" (I'm detailed out, to be honest...) Sarge then holds his fingers a half inch apart, "That's what the NFL's about!" (Huh? I thought football was about...Hell, I'm really confused now...)

Unknown voice asks what was behind the decison to flip Redding and Hall?
Sarge: Corrects him, says it's actually "Kalimba and Hall" (Then the Sarge oes off on another defensive strategy tangent. He loves tangents...)

The supposedly retired Curt Sylvester, who must not have anything better to do, asked about the return game, what to do about it?
Sarge: "You know what you want, you make it clear" "No panic" "Get back to work" "Get on the (you guessed it) details"

Sarge: "Thanks men...And ladies."

Big Al: Thanks men...And ladies. That was OUTSTANDING!

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