Tilting at ESPN windmills

I currently have Sportscenter on the TV next to me. Why? The hell if I know, as I've bitched plenty about the steaming pile of teeming awfulness that the Worldwide Leader in Sports has become.

Speaking of that steaming pile, it's time for a multiple choice pop quiz. Thinking caps on, everyone?

What did the self-named Worldwide Leader in Sports have as their lead story tonight on their 6pm flagship program known as Sportscenter?

A. The NBA Playoffs
B. The NHL Playoffs
C. Mark Cuban's $200K fine
D. Delmon Young's 50 game suspension
E. Albert Pujols' 18th home run
F. Indy 500 practice
G. 15 minutes of commercial free hyperbole covering every conceivable angle and piece of minutia, interviewing every ESPN baseball talking head, and general breathless faux excitement in regard to the God Damn Yankers playing the God Damn Red Sux playing a meaningless early regular season game.
H. Stuart Scott poetry

If you picked G, you are one of the 99% of the nation that doesn't live and die with the 2 most egrigious examples of baseball excess. But that doesn't stop ESPN from cramming the Yankees and Red Sox down our unwilling throats. I actually think they take pleasure in our pain. Why else would the Wolrdwide Leader inflict such (sarcasm alert) blinding ginormous brilliance as Chris Berman, Joe Morgan, John Kruk, Stephen A. Smith, and Stuart Scott, to name just a few, upon an unsuspecting nation?

Then tonight, when I tune to ESPN News to see the scores during NBA/NHL playoff downtime, which normally is an island of decency amidst the immense suckitude that is the ESPN family of networks, the Barry Bonds home run watch slobberfest will begin anew. God. Damn. It.

I don't know how much more I can take. Maybe I should give up. Stop tilting at ESPN windmills. Just let ESPN assimilate me, much like the pod people in "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." Give up and accept the mediocrity that spews from from the bowels of Bristol.

Never.