Friday, May 19, 2006

Karma. Bizzaro World. Luck. Call it what you will, but it's getting weird in the D

I'm confused. More so than normal, anyway. It feels as if the earth has spun off it's axis, or Hell has frozen over. Why? Because we are currently residing in "Bizzaro World."

The world has turned it's head and I'm getting scared. Up is down. In is out. Black is white. Dmitri Young lost weight. The Clippers are playing a game 7 in the 2nd round of the NBA playoffs. The Little Fella is writing about sports. Larry Brown is going to be paid 40+ million dollars not to coach. Reggie Bush wasn't the 1st pick of the NFL draft. Wobb Parker is making sense. Kobe Bryant wore a sweater vest on national TV that would have made Cheatypants McSweatervest proud. Gil Grissom slept with Sara Sidle. The Cincinnati Reds and the Milwaukee Brewers are over .500. Steve Nash won consecutive MVP awards. Shaq looks human. Matt Millen didn't draft a wide receiver. SNL has been funny. The Spurs are on the verge of elimination. John Daly lost $50+ million dollars playing slots. The Red Wings lost in the 1st round. What? OK, scratch the last one...

Despite all the above evidence of an upcoming apocalyspe, why am I feeling so discombobulated?

The Tigers have had the best pitching, and thus the best record, in baseball. They've won 7 straight games. They've had 4 winning streaks of 5 games or more. This is the 4th best season start in the Tigers long history. Jim Leyland is being hailed around MLB, and is thought to be the next coming of Casey Stengel, Yoda, and the Marlboro Man combined.

On the other hand, the Pistons have become tenative on defense, a turnover machine on offense, and suddenly look like underdogs to the Cavs. They will be scrambling tonight to keep their season alive for 1 more game, desperate to force a game 7. Flip Saunders is getting roasted, and now considered the next coming of Ron Rothstein, Alvin Gentry, and George Irvine combined.

When did the Pistons become the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked and the Tigers a model franchise? M. Night Shyamalan couldn't come up with a more surprising twist. (Don't get me going on him. Take "Signs." Please. If you were an alien and water was lethal to you, why in the Hell would you invade a planet that is 95% covered in what would be your kryptonite? Why? But I digress...)

Is this juxstaposition an anomaly, or have the sports Gods decided that the Tigers are overdue for some good karma and the Pistons have used their karma up? Ian, channeling Earl Hickey, sure thinks so. Did Dave Dombrowski find a 4 leaf clover? Did Joe Dumars break a mirror? Why the sudden change in luck?

My head hurts just thinking about it.

Maybe I'm reading waaaay to much into this. The Pistons have been in this position before, and come thru with flying colors. 3 weeks from now we could be celebrating a NBA Championship. It's only been a bad 3 game stretch, and the series is not yet over. Their reputation preceeds them, and the Pistons will get the benefit of the doubt from me, no matter how dire the situation.

The Tigers could come back to earth. Even though they are playing as well as any Tiger team has (Save for the insane '84 start), the White Sox are only a game off the ir torrid pace. It's almost impossible to go from worst to first in MLB. It's been done, but not for 15 years. I so want to believe in the Tigers, but in the back of all our minds, we are wondering if they are truly contenders, or just pretenders. I was just hoping for a .500 Tiger season, but 14 games over at 40 games is just plain unreal. They haven't earned the benefit of the doubt yet. They are have earned some, but not nearly at the level the Pistons get.

But I'm going to go to my happy place, and I'm not talking about my La-Z-Boy where a hot chick is serving me pitchers of beer. You know the one. The Pistons get their equilibrium back, and steamroll to the title. The Tigers stay in contention all year and we see our first pennant race in 2 decades. Would karma would allow us to have that much joy? Can't both teams have good luck, good karma, and good results?

We'll know more about our karma status, and see if we are still living in Bizzaro World, around 9:30 tonight.


  1. I love that nickname for Tressel - "Cheatypants McSweatervest", that my friend is pure genius. I usually just refer to him as sweater vest but that one is too brilliant!

    As far as the Pistons go I hope you and everyone else is right but something just feels different and I think this one is over. This isn't 3-2 against the Nets and a bum knee Kidd or 3-2 against the Heat and game 6 is at the Palace without Wade, the only one that was really "tough" was the game 6 against the Spurs, I will give them that. This is game 6 at the queer, I mean the "Q" and they have that "witness" guy whose name I can not remember right now but I am sure I will see it at every commercial break.

    The point is my heart tells me yes but my gut tells me no and my gut is usually right. This is the first time in three playoff runs that I have felt it and I don't like it. DAMN IT!!!!

  2. I wish I could take credit for "Cheatypants McSweatervest," but the college football blog "Every Day Should be Saturday" is where I first saw that name for Sweatervest Boy. Anyway, that nickname just cracks me up...

    I think most of us feel the way you do about tonight's game, Dude. We are hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.

  3. Gil Grissom slept with Sara Sidle? Eeww. Man, I haven't watched CSI for a long time.

    Oh, and I think Cleveland's reign on the Bizarro World throne is over as of 7 pm Sunday.