Wednesday, April 19, 2006

"Bring it!" I'd prefer the Red Wings marketers just "Bag it!"

The Red Wings announced their latest slogan for the upcoming Stanley Cup playoffs. And just what is their rallying cry this year?

This is the best the Red Wings marketing department can come up with? "Bring it?" But going back and looking over previous playoff sloganeering, I guess shouldn't have been surprised.

1994: Paint the Town Red - So let's get drunk!

1995: A Call to Arms - And bring your guns!

1996: I Want Stanley - OK, I admit kind of liked this one.

1997: Get Up!! - Huh? Get up out of my seat? We don't do that sort of thing in the lower bowl.

1998: Raise Your Hands - I despised the whole "Raise the roof" stuff.

1999: Are You Ready - For a second round loss...

2000: Bring It On Home - As we have early tee times after another second round knockout.

2001: Get Your Red On - And take it right back off after a first round upset.

2002: Let 'Em See Red - Not on the ice, as no one fights!

2003: Red Storm Rising - More like a labor storm rising.

2004: Turn on the Red Light - Happened about once a game for the Wings in that ugly playoff season.

From reading those over, you'd think that Red Wing fans are drink heavily (On second thought, they do), frequent red light districts, like to raise things, and are revved up by really bad puns. Well, that does describe the Downriver fan base...

But, I mean, come on! "Bring it?" They should just listen to Mickey Redmond, they'd have plenty of rallying cry material. Isn't "Bingo-bango!" tons better than "Bring it?" Or "B.C. two handers for all on our way to the Stanley Cup!" says volumes.

Maybe I'm just getting curmugeonly, but the whole manufactured motto thing just turns me off. Can't things happen naturally anymore? Then again , I'm talking about a team that was successful in co-opting the term "Hockeytown" and running like hell with it. So now the Wings marketing gurus feel that every playoff run needs a lame motto.

So where do the Wings sloganeers go from here? What are we going to get next season? "We got next?" Nope, that's been done by the chicks. "Red Wings suck?" Been done to death out west. Who's your Tiger Wing? Been done badly by the redheaded stepchildren of the Ilitch empire.

My suggestion? STOP! IT! NOW! Please. No more lame ass slogans that don't mean a thing other than an attempt to sell more t-shirts. Isn't having the tradition of the octopus and the legend that goes with it enough? Not according to the Wings, as they long ago had to corrupt our octopi tradition with the montrosity known as "Al the Octopus."

Gordie Howe didn't need a mascot. Ted Lindsay would have punched out a mascot. Roger Crozier didn't need one. Neither did Mickey Redmond.

One of these days the marketers will learn the joys of subtlety. Unfortnately, that day isn't yet here...


  1. "Get Up!" is a personal favorite, if for no other reason than hearing Ray Lane say "It's time to get it up, Red Wings fans!"

    And you know, I'd never watched a hockey game in that manner before. Looking back on it now, I probably never will again.

  2. Turn on the Red Light always made me think of the ET-Neil Diamond song, Turn on Your Heart Light. So not right.

    Personally, I'd love (for all the wrong reasons) their theme song to be a remake of Funkytown. Won't you take me to...Hockeytown.

  3. Look, hockey in this town is the ugly step child, it truly is. At heart this town bleeds baseball and football and if those teams ever get serious (which I think they finally are) then hockey will be filed away somewhere under "WHAT?" I have touched on it before at my blog and I will say it again the only reason why hockeytown started was because there was nothing else here! This town is football and baseball at heart, shit the Pistons are even more popular, hockeytown is 80% bandwagon junkies that hopped on because the Wings were the only show in town. Once the Wings start losing again the Joe will be half empty and full of echos. Everything comes and goes in cycles, trust me.

    Besides I think "get you pink on" would have been more appropriate anyway.

  4. My, my -- I had no idea we had such influence over the outcomes of these games.

    I'd better "Bring it" in Game 1 -- or I might be benched for Game 2!

  5. Next Year's Slogan:

    "Let's Get It On"