Sunday, March 19, 2006

It's a Coach K world, unfortunately


DUKE! DUKE! DUKE! DUKE! DUKE! DUKE! DUKE! DUKE!

ENOUGH OF THOSE GOD DAMMED DUKE FLOOR SLAPPERS!

I feel better now.

I love March Madness as much as anyone, but it also signifies one thing we cannot avoid. The unleashing of all Dook, all the time.

You know the second round of the NCAA tournament has officially started when CBS gives the Dookies their own timeslot. No other games are broadcast during "Dook time." Why? Does CBS think we're all dying to watch the F'ing Blue Devils? Haven't we seen enough of those damn Coach Kzzysxzefrtteski Amex commercials? Have we missed hearing more of JJ Reddick's "Feel sad for me" poetry? ESPN's almost daily fluffing isn't enough, CBS has to get in on the Dook man-love as well? Is Dook so hurting for attention that they need this seemingly annual tounament slotting?

CBS and the NCAA must think their audience only consists of Dick (I'll bend over for Coach K anywhere, anytime anyhow, BABY!) Vitale and Billy (I'm the MVC's biatch) Packer. Hell, they both must own Nielsen rating boxes. That's the only explanation I can think of....

What makes it worse is that Dook, for better or worse, depending upon you either being a normal hoops fan (98% of the population) or a (ugh) Dook fan, is usually a good team. You can't deny that. The Dookies end up playing a low seed, and the game turns into a blowout, normally before halftime. This is good tournament TV? Hardly.

Of course, in the infinite wisdom of CBS and the NCAA, once the Dook time slot is clear, they schedule multiple games in the remaing time slots. CBS broadcast games from 1pm till 10:30pm, but only Dook got to play by their lonesomes. They couldn't move one of the Jacksonvile sub-regional games into the 1:00-1:15 starting time slot? Nope, that's for Dook, and only Dook! Another game would make too much sense, and cut into Dook's recruiting time. Let's not even go into the unfair recruiting advantages this kind of scheduling give the Dookies.

Of course, despite all this to the contrary, Coach Kzzrtwrfrdski continues to think there's an anti-Dook bias in the media. Uh...Yeah. Whatever it takes to get you though the night, K...

I realize that I'm coming across as a bitter Wolverine fan. I have to blame someone other than Bill Martin for foisting Tommy Amaker upon us. Coach Krzzzytegyfdwski is as good as anyone. For that matter, I can barely remember the last time Michigan beat Dook. The Tractor Traylor era? (As if you can call anytime Traylor played an era)

I'll end by saying this...In the immortal closing words of all Fark.com sports headlines, Duke Sucks.

3 comments:

  1. I prefer the nickname 'Coach Kommercial'.

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  2. That's actually a perfect monicker for K.

    It's those pretenious Amex ads that semd me over the edge in regard to Dook, Coach Kz#23dt*!ski, and their whole damn media enhanced mystique.

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  3. I am not a big Duke fan, but I do respect coach K for what he's done. Years ago I went to a Nike coaching clinic with about 30 college head coaches and he was one of them. He was great! He told some great stories and showed us some drills and broke down how he schedules his practices, game prep, etc.

    I don't watch as much TV as I used to, but I have been watching the tournament and his commercials haven't bothered me. I haven't really noticed a whole lot of pro-Duke talk either.

    Just my two cents.

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