Saturday, September 16, 2006

Michigan plays Notre Dame at 3:30. I expect to be in a funk by 7

I hate Notre Dame. Why? Christ, where do you start?

The Notre Dame Broadcasting Company. "Rudy." Ron Powlus will win 3 Heisman Trophies. Lou Holtz and his lisp. 51 yard field goals as time expires, as monsoon like winds suddenly die down. A walk-on kicking what seemed like 10 field goals. Wolverine national title hopes dashed repeatedly. Blowout losses. Close losses. Unbelievable losses. As if I need a reason to despise Notre Dame, all of the above are like piling on.

So yes, I despise Notre Dame. I guess as a Michigan fan, that's to be expected. Encouraged, even.

Hating the Domers is easy to do, as bad things happen to the Wolverines when they play the Irish. Bad things, man... Other than tOSU, I cannot think of another program that has broken the hearts and minds of Wolverine fans more than the team that plays under that "Touchdown Hippie" character. Thing is, games against the Bucknuts rarely have such bizzare twists and turns that the matchups with the Domers do. Just say the names Reggie Ho, Tim Brown, Rocket Ishmael, Harry Oliver, to name just a few, and your typical Michigan fan goes into convulsions.

So you can guess why I'm not expecting the Wolverines to win. Michigan coaches, going back to the God-like, yet flawed, Bo, seem to have major brain cramps when going up against the all that is evil in college football Irish. I don't see this trend ending today. I can guarantee that Lloyd Carr, despite everything he has said prior, will go into his ultra-conservative shell, and play "Not to lose." Which generally means they will... When it comes to Lloyd changing his football philosophy, I NEED to see it, to believe it. In other words, in a battle of wits with Charlie Weis, Lloyd is an unarmed man...

Factor in that so far this season the Wolverine passing offense has shown...nothing. God forbid something happens to Mike Hart. (Like the hamstring injury in last years game) It may be up to the Michigan defense to win the game. That's asking quite a bit. Maybe the impossible.

3 weeks into the season, and the Wolverines face a must win game. A must win game against a team that the Wolverines, more often than not, find a way to snatch deafeat from the jaws of victory. Not the most original platitude, but is there a more true one when discussing the Irish - Wolverine rivalry?

So...What do I think is going to happen in South Bend today?

Lloyd will have a brain cramp or 10.
Chad Henne will channel his inner John Navarre.
Mike Hart will look like a Heisman contender. Then strain (name a muscle group) in the 2nd quarter.
Notre Dame will get every benefit of the doubt from the officials.
Charlie Weis will be designated greater than Knute, Ara, and Lou combined, by the Notre Dame Broadcasting Company.
Weird things happen against the Irish, espcially when playing under the "Touchdown Hippie." Expect the Irish to win on a drop kick, a rouge, a 75 yard field goal, or some other nonsense.

Is it possible that Michigan can do the unthinkable, and actually win? Hey, stranger things have happened...

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